Happy Mother's Day!

     Mother's Day is that special day we get to honor moms. Handmade cards, a meal prepared by someone other than yourself, special gifts, tokens of appreciation and lots of hugs. As kids who do not normally stop to say thank you, on this day they make a well-meaning attempt to show their appreciation...This day is truly special!

     Being a step-mom, on Mother's Day, comes with some mixed emotions. You want your step children to enjoy their time with their bio mom and at the same time, you wait for a call from them just to hear 'Happy Mother's Day'...often the call does not come. If you are in a situation like mine, the bio mom has a hard time with any affection shown to you by the step children, she feels threatened. As a result, your step children hold back for fear of not being loyal to their mom or hurting her feelings.

    I am both a bio mom and as well as a step-mom. My children have a step-mom. Sometimes it is difficult for me to see my children show affection to their step-mom...especially because I know the adult conflict that has taken place over the years with the step-mom. I admittedly struggle from time to time with remembering that their step-mom is a big part of my children's life also.

So this Mother's Day:

• I will encourage my children to call their step-mom to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, make her a card, craft or cookies.
• I will remember that my children showing affection to to their step-mom, in no way, diminishes MY role in their lives.
• I will be the bigger person and not show my children the tension that may be there from other situations that have happened.
•  I will help my kids feel comfortable showing affection, honor and respect to their step-mom, even if it is not reciprocated.

   I am learning to pray my children develop as many healthy relationships as possible. They deserve to have all the love and support they can get and it is far better to teach them to reciprocate that love and respect whether it is for a grandparent, a teacher or their step-mom.

   For those step-moms that do not, or cannot, openly show appreciation (or receive appreciation) on Mother's Day, remember, there is a Step Family Day every year on September 16th. Start planning something special for this day. Give the children a special day they can celebrate their step parent without causing conflict with the bio mom or making the children feel guilty. Try not to let the actions of your step children's bio mom make you feel any less of a mom, or any less valued. 

   Happy Mother's Day to all the step-moms!