Maybe it's because I'm a woman.
Maybe it's because I am a mother...or a stepmom...or a wife. Whatever the
reason, I struggle frequently with who I am in the middle of it all. Sometimes
I feel lost in a sea of labels and expectations. I'm tossed back and forth in
the waves of life. I have to be a good at all my roles or I don't feel like I'm
enough. Of course, "good" is relative and defined mostly by my own
assumptions about what I should or shouldn't be. Sometimes I'm on top of the
water, but mostly I feel like I'm sinking...not drowning, just barely treading
water and growing weary.
I do what any well-meaning
woman would do when circumstances are overwhelming. I look for validation like it’s
a life raft. I seek signs of appreciation, kindness or gestures from my husband
or my kids. Clueless to the unrealistic expectation I've placed on them, I'm
often left disappointed, emotional and irritable. Ugh!
I've been reading a book
titled "The Smart Stepfamily" by Ron Deal. In one of the chapters, he
discusses the need for parents to first have an individual relationship with
God. At first it seemed so cliché. Yeah, yeah...I've heard it all before. I
pray. I pray a lot! As I read further, my heart stirred in a big way. The book
encouraged the importance of knowing who we are in Christ.
I know God helps my family
and shows up often. We love and trust him. I have faith. He is the center of
our family. But somehow, I've missed the mark. I have lost touch with God my
Father, a father who loves me and validates me. He thinks I'm beautiful and
valuable...I am enough.
The reason I am feeling lost
in the sea of labels and expectations is because I've lost sight of the One
whose labels matter most.
I'm going to have a heart to
heart with my Father. Here's what he has to say...
1. God chose me and I am special. (John
15:16, Eph 1:3-8, 1 Peter 2:9)
2. I am God’s masterpiece. (Eph 2:10)
3. I can do anything, I am a conquerer. (Phil
4:13, Rom 8:37)
4. I am loved. (Rom 1:7, 8:35-39, 1 Peter 1:5,
1 John 3:1, John 3:16)
5. I am treasured and valued. (Proverbs 3:15)
6. I am not alone. (Hebrews 13:5)
