Blending a family is not just taking two families and bringing them together, it is blending each individual person into a new family. Certainly mixing 2 units together is easier than mixing 9…2 parents and 7 kids, in our case! The reality is that each person comes into the new family with needs, personalities and expectations. It is a guarantee, at some point, these will clash…leaving a blended mess.
As a parent in a blended family, we strive to stop the cycle of brokenness, bring new opportunities to our children and model for them what “good” relationships look like. We want to teach our kids that life can be fulfilling and help to mend their broken hearts.
Even with the greatest intentions and a mountain of effort by both parents, life can become more difficult than expected and the blending doesn’t go so well. Frustration quickly sets in and you wonder why you even try.
There is hope!
When baking a cake from scratch for the first time, it rarely turns out how you wanted it to. When taking on a new project to build something you never have before, there are always things that could have been better.
You often miss something, have to make patches/repairs or even start over. Blending a family is the same way. We often won’t do things right the first time and effort is not always an indication of success…persistence is.
Keep trying to build relationships, keep working on your marriage, keep including the kids, keep telling them you love them, keep building patience, keep learning about each member as an individual and keep striving to make things better.
It is the process that works.
God promises restoration. He promises to give back what the devil has stolen. In our family, the devil stole the peace and security of a healthy family. God is continually restoring us and we prove His grace every day. Our family is stronger because we place God first in our home and put in the work. When we stumble, His grace is sufficient and we can repair what’s needed and move forward.
With God, our blended mess becomes a masterpiece…what He originally intended.
I welcome the Beautiful Mess and all of the learning opportunities that come with it!
"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new; Will you not be aware of it? I will make a roadway in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
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