If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say...

...Type it up in a status on Facebook! Okay, not really. We truly know nothing good ever comes from posting negativity on social media. The temptation to get some relief of overflowing frustration by fundraising sympathy from others can be enticing but only offers temporary relief. There will always be more situations to complain about. The frustration may even be justified so it is easy to become a broadcaster of all things negative, eventually becoming the avoided contact both virtually and in person.

Here's the reality.

No one cares to hear about all my problems...especially in their news feeds.

No one likes to be around negative people who drain their energy...and energy is a precious commodity these days and should be used wisely.

Everyone has problems and speaking negative things over my situations only causes more stress.

I am working on being better about speaking positive things into my life. The ex may be causing more drama than a reality show, the kids may act out and schedules may be blowing up like an atomic bomb BUT there will always be something good I can say. 

My perceptions guide my thoughts, my thoughts guide my words and my words guide my actions. If my perception is negative, it effects everything else, like falling dominoes.

This week, I am choosing to re-focus on the good things...pay more attention to the words coming out of my mouth...and protect my perceptions from negativity that can take root in my heart like a weed in a garden. I'm not waiting for the situation to change, I am praying for positive perceptions. Regardless how I feel, I will be more mindful of what I say...speak good things.

"Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach; good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest. Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose."Proverbs 18:20-21

Credit....The Elephant in the Room

Divorce takes a hit on everything, especially our finances. Even after years have passed, our credit can still be a shadow reflecting your past. It is easy to get caught up in the numbers and feel labeled...judged. We hear (or see) the words "poor credit", like a flashing neon light, and feel everyone else can see it to. Like a bad reputation, it takes a long time to repair.

So, there are two, seemingly  acceptable, options. Face it or Ignore it.

Common sense would say facing the issue would be more productive and better yet, more responsible. However, many of us choose the latter option, to IGNORE.
Nothing hurts worse than being labeled by a number, a number that says you are not worthy of trust. Our credit becomes the elephant in the room. The forbidden number. We avoid any attempt or situation that would result in "running our credit". Denial sets in and we subconsciously convince ourselves it isn't that important, it isn't that bad or there's not anything we can do about it.
Like any problem, if we don't face it, we can't make it better. Like a re-run, a cliche' or whatever else you want to call it. There is no magic solution, no formula, no quick fix. Like everything after a divorce, it takes time to repair....to restore...our hope, our self-esteem, even our finances.

And most of all...We can't invite God into the process if there is NO process!

A few years ago, I decided to take on the credit elephant. It has been a slow...slow....slow....process. The worst part was getting started and facing the reality of where I was. Believe me, it was not pretty. I committed myself to the process regardless of what the number said about me. I asked God for wisdom and favor. Over the past few years, my score has increased over 100 points!!! I am not where I want to be but I am further than I was yesterday. My confidence has grown, knowing it is something I can tackle, with God's help. I have the faith I will get there.

Here are a few things I've done to help along the way.

1. Invite God into the process FIRST!
2. Plug up the bucket! If there are holes in your finances (uncontrolled spending, overextending, poor budgeting), nothing you could ever do will fix the issue with credit. Budget, budget, budget.
3. Rip off the band-aid. Find out where you are. Run a free credit report. You get 1 free every year.
4. Learn what you can. I sought materials from Dave Ramsey and Clark Howard. There are lots of free stuff online by these two as well as books and workbooks.
5. Monitor your progress. I use two free apps, Credit Karma and Credit Sesame. I can see on a weekly and monthly basis where I am, I get alerts and I can see what raises and lowers my scores.
6. Find ways to GIVE! Give back with your finances and time. It will come back to you.
7. Stay Committed. Don't give up and know it CAN get better!

Proverbs 27:23

"Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds."

Proverbs 21:5

"The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, but those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty."

Psalm 20:4

"May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed."

Proverbs 1:5

"A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel."